A Sad Day at Work

Today was very hard and sad for me. I have been to a lot of codes, but this one affected me differently. We had a 3 year old come in code 3 (blue). He had been sick for 1 week and the parents had taken him to the Dr.’s several times during the past week. They were told that he had tonsillitis and was sent home with ABx. His last visit had been yesterday when he had blood work done. The x-rays taken in ER showed full blown pneumonia and he had probably gone septic.

He was intubated right off, but we were unable to get a BP, O2 Sat, blood gas or blood sugar from him and his temp was 38.7. We started doing CPR when he went into V-tach without pulses and then into V-fib. He was defibrillated several times. He was loaded up with every rescue drug there was and to the max times they could be given. We worked on him for almost 2 hours. The hardest part was when they brought in his parents during that last half hour. It was heartbreaking. I took over taking care of Mom, while Dad was at their son’s head talking to him and encouraging him. I was holding Mom on a chair, helping her to cope and keep from fainting by answering her questions about the interventions, working on her breathing rate, using cool cloths and fanning her. The parents were completely devastated when the physician had to explain to them there was nothing else to be done.

That was the hardest thing that I have gone through in nursing so far. I felt so helpless. Earlier I had kept busy helping out wherever I could, but at the end I had a really hard time maintaining control. Everyone present in the room helping was pretty much trashed emotionally too. I was handing out a lot of Kleenex behind the parent’s backs to the many nurses and RTs that were there. Fortunately there was an RN present who, when Mom wailed, “I don’t know what to do” was able to take charge and tell her, “Why you go hold him and tell him that you love him.” We pushed Mom’s chair up to the bed because she was unable to walk at that point and put her son in her arms. That pretty much finished me for the day.

When I walked out of ER, I heard a familiar,”Mom!” It was one of my daughters holding my 2 year old grandson. He had fallen off of a rocking chair at church and had a small cut over his right eye. I held, kissed and cuddled him. It did wonders for me to hear him laugh when I tickled him. It was just what I needed. Life is so precious and so short.